Love is dark as is,

i cut my dreads off!

2009-12-06T01:54:21Z

here's the gudu post: http://community.livejournal.com/get_up_dread_up/6102257.html#cutid1

check out my ruth in africa blog to see some of what i've seen!

my future is unclear........ woofing in Senegal?...... sailboats to brasil?...... moving to boston and taking classes at harvard? hey, life's great.

ruthlessbabe @ 2009-09-14T17:00:00

2009-09-14T17:00:56Z

ruth_in_africa

recently

2009-06-21T12:38:24Z

hair

2009-06-19T13:48:38Z

http://community.livejournal.com/get_up_dread_up/5752493.html

ruthlessbabe @ 2009-04-29T00:12:00

2009-04-29T04:10:08Z

x

hair

Ruth begins biking again, resulting in an increase in random thoughts.

2009-04-10T02:47:32Z

It is annoying when people hurt themselves on my watch.

I returned after an internet-free month to a new slang being slung all over LJ. I shall use it now.

2009-04-05T15:37:43Z

THIS.

Want music? I Love all this.
She & Him - Volume 1 (album)
Zooey Deschanel singing! Love 'Sentimental Heart' and all the covers. Paste Magazine's #1 album of 2008.

Ben Kweller - Changing Horses (album)
The concert was fantastic. I love this album the best. 'Gypsy Rose', 'Things I Like To Do', 'Homeward Bound' are favorites but it's all good.

Sara Watkins - Long Hot Summer Days (song)
Sara from Nickle Creek doing an on John Hartford Mississippi River song. Best listened to on repeat. So good.

Pay me back with Jenny Lewis or Watson Twins if you've them.

Right.

2009-04-05T04:44:56Z

We all know what's wrong with ourselves, but we don't have the balls to fix it.

Le Plaisir: La Model

2009-03-04T23:24:45Z

-But why did he marry that poor woman?
-The same reason anyone marries: stupidity.
-Still...
-There's no "still" about it. A fool does foolish things. The girl risked all for all. I say "risked" but what do I know? What can one ever say for certain about women? They lie without knowing or intending or understanding. Yet there's a sincerity to their emotions and sudden reactions that puts our reason to rout and turns our plans upside down.

Her name was Josephine. It wasn't her fault.
He fell in love with her and imagined that he loved her with all his soul. It's an unusual phenomenon. When a man falls in love with a woman, he sincerely believes he can never live without her. Anyway, he thought he loved her.
Three months later, he was desperately fighting the invisible bonds with which habit entwines our lives.

In the version I rented, the closing line is translated as, "there is no joy in happiness." Which I find more appealing.

A CAVE IN VIETNAM. JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU.

2009-03-04T23:10:34Z

I hadn't heard from you in months.
Exchanging interims on a cell phone.
You mention, gingerly, that you are getting back together with your ex.
I hang up on you.
You try to call back.
I see your name flashing on the screen.
How annoying.
Making me decide whether or not to answer.
I throw the phone in the river.
I imagine the automated message of error you receive.
I hope you worry what has happened.
Perhaps I have drowned, been hit by a train, attacked by a dragon.
I go home, hoping you have not emailed, and hoping to find a desperate email from you.
Appalled at the prospect of facing such possibilities, I throw my computer in the river.
I further renounce all methods of communication and spend the rest of my life in

Am going.

2009-02-23T23:08:49Z

Yay my period started and I can be happy again. Am I entirely hormonally driven?
I am journeying to a Ben Kweller concert tomorrow. It's ridiculous how long it takes to get anywhere from here. Damn island.

I want to be gone.

2009-02-22T13:17:57Z

I tried to return to journaling. I've been quite depressed. It's hard for me to communicate with people when I'm depressed. Perhaps it's just winter, making me unhappy about my life situation. Most of the time I want to get a tent and start backpacking to the wilderness.

I get sad listening to some of my favorite music because it reminds of someone who's gone.

x

2009-02-14T21:44:27Z

hair

+

2009-02-03T03:05:19Z

January Books

2009-02-01T12:23:49Z

1. Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac
Although comparisons are odious, I must say I enjoyed On The Road better. The actions in this one were much more to my taste, but the ideas and writing in On The Road were better. Quite similar though.
-alright+

2. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
Highly enjoyably reading for the most part. Very original. Wished the ending was a bit more complete.
-good

3. All The Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy
It was pretty good for the story/writing. I'm not a fan of his style. Laughable romance. depending on my mood
-okay+/good-

4. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
Didn't think I would like it at first, so violent. Liked it best so far. Clear voice of character and the vernacular is addicting.
-good

5. 4 Screenplays by Ingmar Berman
The first of the four I liked very much. Short, sweet, charming, witty. The others, not so much.
-good for the first, watch the films for the rest

6. Golf in the Kingdom by Michael Murphy
Very satisfying and made me want to play golf. Not really about golf as much as the search for unifying philosophy. I would read it again.
-good+

An Essay

2008-12-25T23:35:21Z

Be open. My personal evolution is constant, but this is a significant lesson. Open your home, your mind, your life, your heart. I started opening my home last summer when two French girls needed a place to stay. I went to meet them at the ferry dock and soon realized I didn't know who to look for. The throngs of visitors were coming and going, all apparently uninterested in going home with me. At that moment Sophie approached and introduced herself.
"But how did you know it was me?"
"You looked like you were looking for somebody."

She was right of course, in more ways than one. I've hosted near thirty people since, making valuable connections and sharing some amazing experiences along the way. It's all too easy to allow yourself to be closed off from others, especially if you've lived on an isolated island all your life. CouchSurfing has been a great gateway to opening up parts of me that had grown stiff from stagnation, impeded by self-imposed enclosure.

Much like all people I will meet, some are just passing through, leaving no great impact upon me. Their essence is remembered with a smile because I now know who they are, when before I was completely unaware of their existence. I suppose these could be spoken of as having "not so much in common with" and therefor being "not so easy to get along with" from one perspective. All that can be gained from this opinion is a more defined sense of what I find to be a comfort and how they are lack in supplying me with it. I look back to see that I was not open enough to appreciate them while they were here. Judging a person or an idea or an opinion, comparing it to my own and compiling a mental list of how they differ from me and mine, is a stifling pastime. Holding to any strong opinion stifles any true growth. Being open, endeavoring even, to understanding another often reveals the truth of common purpose. This practice is want to be applied in all aspects of interaction, too many of which are taken for granted every day.

I have also been lucky enough to develop friendships with a few absolutely remarkable individuals. I am touched and inspired by them, at times in awe. Matt threw his hand-rolled cigarette down, rejected my outstretched hand of introduction, and embraced me in the first "CouchSurfing hug!" of many to come. This lackadaisical artist rode his bicycle five thousand miles from Bellingham, Washington to Columbia, a fact I recall each time my legs ache defiantly on my commute to work. Matt introduced me to his traveling companion, Kai, who impressed with his tales of the previous 15 months spent in Asia, then impressed me more by opening my heart up further than anyone ever had, and nestling deeply in it for the winter. By the time Felicity and Maria showed up, I was a seasoned host. Completely vulgar, displaying blatant disregard for social norms, these two Brits quickly earned the Best CouchSurfers Ever title as they brought me to tears laughing and to tears begging them not to go so soon. Randy from Arkansas, an unforgettably reliable traveling partner who left me slack-jawed during our stay in Bar Harbor with a casual declaration, "You'll have to excuse me for a few hours tonight, I have to run 18 miles or so."

The remarkables have left along with all the rest, scattered across the globe, sharing themselves with the world as best they should. All have had a great impact in my personal evolution, and all this I owe to to a sandy colored website.

A Return to Journaling

2008-12-21T02:12:21Z

Upcoming Events:

ONE. Early January will be spent on a 47 ft steel catch with Das and Alex as we sail on the Surrender (Alex's) from North Carolina to the eastern Caribbean.
WHY: I started sailing this summer on my dear friend Tucker's little boat and was inspired to aspire to become a deckhand after a two hour cruise on the Appledore out of Camden, Maine, where I had stopped with my CS traveling companion Randy, during our week long camping exploration of Maine and New Hampshire in September. When I arrived home, Tucker suggested I sail with my co-worker Lalita's dreadlocked husband Das, who recently purchased a 10 meter Pearson. I sailed with Das 5 times into the Sound on his Surrender, as he got to know Alex and Alex's Surrender when they went on a trip to Newport together. Das was invited to accompany Alex on his migration south, and I, in turn, was invited as well. It will take about two weeks and I hope to learn much.

TWO. On September 3rd, 2009, I go to the African nation of Senegal to study Sustainable Community Development with the UMASS Amherst accredited Living Routes program until December 11th, 2009.
WHY: I need a challenge. School is a scary word to me. After a taxing spring, it was evident that some sort of move was necessary. I wondered idly for weeks about areas of interest I had passion enough in to dedicate myself to. One sunny morning in early summer I reached the bottom of the stairs and it hit me like a brick. Sustainability is the only thing worth studying, the only thing I could study. With the securing of stable year-round employment with room for growth, I could not justify leaving for anything less than perfect. What I found was indeed a perfect fit.

the front yard

2008-08-23T00:42:29Z

the parking lot

2008-08-23T00:39:09Z

bartlett's ocean view farm - i love my job

2008-08-15T03:20:04Z

sailing the sea hag to coatue - 7/26/08

2008-08-15T03:15:51Z

nobadeer dunes - 7/24/08

2008-08-15T03:07:07Z

baah

2008-08-11T01:56:11Z

nobadeer

2008-06-26T00:14:20Z

squam swamp profiles - early june

2008-06-25T02:37:55Z