The best part of my yesterday was falling into a puddle. I knew of the big puddle that collects after the slightest bit of precipitation at the bottom of Davekim Lane. From experience with it last summer I knew that it could be crossed by keeping to the middle and hopefully it would only get deep enough to skim the soles of my sneakers. I reviewed the past day's weather in my mind and shortly concluded that it had not rained all that much. At seeing the puddle, there was a moment of indecision on whether or not to turn around and go the alternative route. The challenge drew me on not nearly as strongly as the current proximity to home. I begun confidently, making sure to stay at the highest gear and pedal as slowly as possible so as not to fling the dirty water that clung to the treads of my tires up my back. I had not gone long before I realized the error of my ways. The puddle was too deep, but there was no turning back now. The waterline ascended beyond the safety of the rubber on my shoes. It quickly crested over the laces and washed down the tongue to fill my until then trusty water resistant Converse and seep hungrily into my thick winter work sock. Not willing to admit defeat, I attempted to pedal halfway and lift my foot before it plunged again into the cold black depth. This too, was action in error. For half pedaling was not nearly enough to sustain the speed needed to keep this ship upright, especially with all this rather expansive watery resistance that was only climbing higher towards me. The grip on the handlebars was tight, but no amount of jerking to and fro could counteract the failing inertia. My left foot went down to the hidden pavement below, followed by a escaping groan of, "Oh joy" that reminded me entirely too much of my mother.
With half a leg drenched and no dry hope left, decisive action was made and caution was diverted altogether. Pedaling as usual commenced and my feet plunged into the icy wet with each downward stroke. Soon enough the end came, and each rotation brought a refreshing squish to my thoroughly heated feet. I'm sure if not for threat of unpleasant blisters, this type of treatment would be much sought after.
I just saw Denis Leary! And he looked at me! It was amazing! I didn't say anything though, (such as, "You hot bastard!") cos I think his kids were with him. And there was some other dude. He was going into the same store I was. He didn't say much and didn't look happy or excited at all. More like he was following the others unwillingly. He was wearing a green t-shirt and jeans. He's a little skinnier than you might expect. He was good looking though, from behind you'd think he was 20-something. I have to say he's the only celebrity I've ever seen who looks exactly like they do on tv, meaning he doesn't wear a ton of makeup. This is also the most excited I've been about a celebrity sighting, cos c'mon, Denis Leary!
Then like 10 minutes later I was standing in line waiting for icecream on the sidewalk and Lenny Clarke walks by! Btw, I think I was the only one around who recognized either of them.
Robbie: "Oh you saw that cool girl with fuckin' ace dreadlocks too? Yeah I saw her back in Germany. She must be pretty awesome to have seen us both up close." Gina: "Can I get a Manwich?"
WE GOT MAD LOVE FOR :: [4]Robbie Williams, [1]John and Yoko [1]Sam Rockwell [2]The Beckham's W shoot (and a banner) [1]Marat Safin [3]Novak Djokovic [2]global warming... [2] ...humor? [4]"stock" [2]Diane Rehm and [2]NPR [2]that mindfuck we call LOST -through the looking glass [1]Little Children [1]Ran [2]Casino Royale [2]The Triplets of Belleville ( Thingamabobs? I've got plenty. But who cares? No big deal. I want MOAR! )
Anthropologie made a "Nantucket" beach ensemble. I like the classy bathing suit but I don't understand why one pieces are back in style. I think it's just the people who make the magazines. Anyone who actually goes to the beach knows 2 pieces make more sense.
I shall now tell you how to be a beach babe. THE SUIT:::: If you have any ability to tan at all (e.g. you're not from Cork) wear a yellow, white, black, or brown bikini, they will enhance your tan. But start with the light colors first, when you're darker you can go darker. If you are from Cork, shades of blue should do you well. I prefer solid colors to patterns, but I do have a nice brown halter with white tropical floral print from J. Crew that I pair with a couple different matching brown bottoms. As far as tops go, I like triangle halters and bandeau. Bottoms are a little more tricky. You must try them on to make sure they don't squeeze you in the wrong places and make sure there's not a lot of extra fabric either. The only kind you could possibly buy before trying on are the ones that tie at the sides, and even then you're taking a risk.
SUN PROTECTION:::: Always wear your sunblock! Re-apply generously every 2-3 hours and after you swim! Use a high SPF on your face and shoulders and chest and toes! ALWAYS put sunblock everywhere exposed to sun. The lowest you should ever use is SPF 30. I like Lily of the Desert brand SPF 40, it's non greasy and absorbs well. But they changed their formula so it's not quite as good for some reason. If you want to be an oiled up sunbather, put the shiny on after the high SPF because dark tanning oil does not provide any sun protection whatsoever. The Hawaiian Tropic brand smells really good. Bring a hat like the one in the ensemble, you'll probably at least want to put it over your face while you're lying down. Wear sunglasses when your eyes are open, if you don't you will experience beach blindness and see everything in shades of white. If you get burned, cool it down with an ice pack, put copious amount of Aloe Vera on it, and take an Apple Cider Vinegar bath.
ACCESSORIES:::: Don't forget your friggin towel. Bring two if you're smart. One to lay down on the sand, the other you can use as a pillow and then dry off with when you come out of the water and it will be nice and un-sandy. A book. You gotta bring a book. If you don't feel like reading it, put it over your face in lieu of hat. iPod, unless it's a social gathering. Cooler with food and drink, you'll thank yourself when you're out there hungry and soo don't want to move. Always bring water anyway. By the way, everybody pees when they go swimming, don't pretend. Wear flip flops or sandals and learn how to walk on sand. That sand is bloody hot and you will fry in bare feet. If you've got to go without foot protection when crossing a lava patch, point your toes and step deeply. If you want to go all out, bring a beach chair and an umbrella. This sets the stage for people watching at the beach, one of the best places to people watch. Beware the fat man in the Speedo. If you want to go for the motherload, bring goggles and flippers to no surf beaches, and a boogie board or surf board to surf beaches. You bring a Pro Kadima and you're beach royalty. Frisbee and football may suffice for some, but Kadima is beach gold. Those kite flyers are a whole different breed. Big honkin beach bag. Carries all your crap and makes a good shield when that creepy guy keeps looking at you. Invest in a comfy sweatshirt for end of the day beaching. Just imagine watching the sun set as you're nearly dry, sitting in the now cooled sand, with just your swimsuit and big fluffy sweatshirt, ahh...
THE ART OF THE TAN:::: You are a pancake. BE the pancake. You must cook evenly and flip often. Every 15 minutes for optimal results. Make sure you have someone get lotion on your back for you, it's prone to burn. Undo the back of your top when you're on your belly to reduce tan lines but for chrissake don't forget about it when you flip over. Or bypass the tan line dilemma entirely by going to the nude beach! When lying on your back, place your feet so that your knees are bent. You'll look better in this position and your legs will tan better. If you place your arms straight by your side, do the same when you flip over (instead of bending them up with your hands near your head) so you aren't constantly exposing only the outer side of your arms. If you like putting your hands up near your head when you're on you're belly, put your hands behind your head when you're on your back. Or at least keep the exposure in mind and act accordingly. Remove watches and jewelry and put them in a safe space where they can't fall into the sand and be lost. The sun is strongest between 10 and 2, but you can still get a burn after 5pm. If you always go to the same beach in the afternoon, you'll have a stronger tan on one side of your body. I'm lucky and can choose a beach facing any direction on the compass. If you are not so lucky, adjust the angle of your towel relative to the sun.
AFTERCARE:::: When it's time to leave, properly hydrate. You might get lightheaded when you have to trek back to the world. Shake off your towel with notice of wind direction and your fellow beachgoers. Make sure you didn't forget anything and don't leave any trash. Get as much sand off of you before you get into the car. Rinse it off if possible. If you didn't have enough time to dry between your last swim and getting in your car, you should have taken your bottoms off. Wet bottoms are no fun. Ah, that salty beachy feeling. Revel in it. Get into the shower with your suit on so you can rinse it off and not spill any sand you took home in your bathroom. Apply aloe. Put makeup and a cute outfit on and go out to a dinner and movie with good people then get the best ice cream in the world at The Juice Bar and sit in the park. Ohh, perfect days of yore... 44 days until summer!
The best way to let your government know how you feel is not by voting, but by spending money. How you spend your money determines the direction our society takes. Buy local, small business, quality. Have a uterus? Get a menstrual cup. Drink water? Stop buying plastic water bottles. Get one washable reusable container, stainless steel won't leach chemicals into your water. Use washable rags rather than disposable products to clean. Use biodegradables rather than harmful chemicals. Always remember to reduce waste products. It makes me sick when I see excess packaging on everything. Bring your own bag when you go shopping. Get in the habit of refusing bags, even if you forgot to bring your own you've still got hands. Don't spend too much time on the internet.
My mom just made me watch Dancing With The Stars. One of those 'shot of an audience member who happens to be a minor celebrity' showed Robbie and after I squealed she said, "He looks so old!" Well damn. You know the boy looks rough when the senior citizens are slagging him off. I found it hard to pay attention to the dancing when the pro female dancers have such rockin' bodies. Apparently he has a new tattoo. Or a magic marker.
I took the posters of him down off my wall today. He doesn't look like that anymore! He's old, he's destroying himself in Hollywood, he's clashing with my decor. I just hope the music doesn't suffer. It seems to be the last bit of himself that he hasn't entirely given away. Stop going to Hyde, you dirty old fool!
I've got it so good. Sometimes I think that problems that people claim to have don't really exist. Not that they're making them up, but somehow they've been convinced that there's something wrong with them. I used to think I had problems. Was it a problem that I thought I had problems? Apparently.
Yay! Roger Federer won his 10th Grand Slam yesterday! It's just a privilidge to be alive at this time and able to watch him play. He's only 25 years old (omg only 3 years older than me almost) and everyone already knows he's the greatest player EVER. Every time he plays he breaks a new record, and he's well on his way to break every big lifetime record held by all the other greats. Plus he's shy and silent and stoic and modest and gorgeous and such a great guy.
My other favorite tennis player, Marat Safin, lost to Andy Roddick in the earlier rounds, but Andy was playing very well... until he had to play Roger of course. Marat's more of the angry hot Russian thug who you wouldn't mind being thrown around a bit by, haha, in a very sexy way. And he's got a great backhand!
sorry if this doesn't make sense or has errors, I just woke up and am not going to read it over.
[January 25th, 2007]
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Last night I dreamt I was canoeing across the world! When I ran out of water, there'd be a downhill slope so I'd just keep right on going. At one point I passed a baby skunk in a jungle and then ended up in the midst of a fancy farm with bees and an old European couple who took me in because apparently I had a bad sunburn. Earlier in my sleep I had been at a Barry Manilow concert (wtf, I don't know how to explain that). He threw single beads out into the audience at times, but one was soooo heavy I could hardly pick it up. It was black and had little studs. I was passing it around like show and tell. The audience sat on a wood floor in rows, but the rows started at the back of the room, stacked like a Cingular commercial, so some people were far away from the stage. I don't know why we did that, Barry told us to move up. At some point I had to complete a scavenger hunt for him where I interpreted a passage to mean I had to put six rocks in a little wooden boat and get it downstream. That's probably where the canoe trip kicked in.
The night before I dreamt of the new kittens and then finding a puppy in the road. And I was very excited because it was a bull terrier puppy. Then I had to smuggle myself to London. The airport was futuristic like Minority Report, and you weren't allowed to leave the coutnry unless you had really special papers. Somehow, the guards weren't paying attention at key moments and I got all the way to the gate and found a boarding pass right there! I also found a big duffle bag full of marijuana, so I got to London for free, illegally, and with a hoarde of pot. Win! But then I was in the Grand Union parking lot, in the future. I couldn't find my car. To drive, or read, or sleep, one of those actions, I forget which.... you had to climb into a small rectagular box with a little window in the end. It was very claustrophobic. I'm not claustrophobic but I have claustrophobic dreams sometimes.
The night before that, I had a mildly romantic dream about Zach Braff. I didn't like Zach Braff before, but he was cute in my dream so I like him now. I've started watching Scrubs, that's probably why. I watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy cos my mom watches it, and damn is that show a pile of shit. Seriously excruciatingly bad acting. I can't think of one good thing to say about it. Scrubs on the other hand, very good. The earlier episodes seem better than the late one's tho.
FRIENDS CUT! This journal needs a change, and also I've noticed some people have stopped commenting. You don't have to comment regularly to stay, I'm just saying if you used to comment and you don't anymore cos you've lost interest in me and are looking for a chance to get away, here it is! Comment here if you want to stay!! If you want to leave, please leave a short note as well!
Yesterday Joe and I drove out to Polpis in search of bayberries with which to make candles. We didn't get any berries because when we got to the cranberry bogs, we were met with the apocalypse. This isn't the first time Joe and I have met with the apocalypse, it happened once before in Washington DC as we were leaving the zoo. Well anyway, when we saw the big alien cloud we were expecting impossible tornadoes but we got sleet and tiny hail stones. It was really crazy. We stepped out onto a path after inspecting some abandoned bee hives and the big dark cloud came right up and blew us away. I'm really glad I brought my camera.
When we first got there. Watching it creep down from the north.
New layout! Woo! It's very similar to the old one. The background wallpaper is actually the same, I just made it green. No more Roger Federer header, I still love it but it's time for a change. That layout was the longest lasting yet! The new header subject is dun dun dun Robbie, wow, I know, big surprise. The image is adapted from a wallpaper I've been working on for awhile. You might get it immediately, but allow me to explain it in case you don't. He's got a song called, "Me and My Monkey" (tho the content is irrelevant... a drugged up monkey in rollerblades in Las Vegas), so that's the pun of the words, and obviously the old idiom of "get the monkey off your back" is displayed by the interpretation that his problem is himself. And I wanted some form of sky in there cos waveburn's Roger header had sky in it and that's my homage. I might tweak a few little things later on, but this is the debut of early 2007's Monkey on your Greenback layout.
OMG LJ looks weird. This isn't really the subject.
[December 13th, 2006]
Note to world: NEVER ORDER FROM URBAN OUTFITTERS.
rj star to uorders
show details 10:24 pm (0 minutes ago) Ok, what the hell is wrong with you people? Instead of writing you a complaint about not returning credit back to me, I'm writing you a complaint about not returning credit AND sending me another pair of the same goddamed pants I don't want. It's been over TWO MONTHS since I originally made the mistake of ordering from you. This is by far the worst service I've ever experienced. If I send these pants back will you finally give me credit back or should I just sell them on ebay?
But in other news, I think I'm really going to enjoy baby jesus day this year. Which is rare!
Being a homo sapien is insane. That's all that needs to be said really.
I have a point, right? I have a reason or a purpose to be alive. I can see where a "crazy" person or where a person who killed themselves is coming from tho. Because there's no real difference. I don't mean that in a depressed way. It's difficult to accept being alive. When you're human at least. Unless ants and armadillos feel the same but just can't express it through LiveJournals. Of course, you don't really have a choice in accepting your life, you're just just born. You can give it back by killing yourself, or someone can take it from you.
This gets me thinking about abortion. I think I've always been pro-choice. I know a bit ago when I tried to sort my thoughts on it I said I was pro-choice but anti-abortion because all life is precious but the life of a person is more precious than the potentiality of life. And at the time it made perfect sense to me, but I've either forgotten my exact reasoning or something's changed cos I'm starting to lose every excuse for the hypocrisy of the opinion. I think I realized I had lost my point in this topic at abortiondebate, which was a blow to my thought process. But I see now that I can't be for a choice if I'm against one of the choices, despite my attempts to throw a deep broad quote over it and expect that everyone gets the intricacies of what I meant.
This requires so much thought that it puts me off of thinking about it. I makes me frustrated because it's so complicated. I don't like that someone makes a decision to end a life. Whether that be a pregnant woman or a group of people in the government. And whether that life be human, cow, tree, maybe bacteria... Hmm, do I think it's okay to kill single celled organisms? I guess not, but I suppose it doesn't matter much at this point on earth. I don't want to be speciesist.
The fetus doesn't have a choice. But if I had to choose between an adult death and a fetus death, I'd kill the fetus. I'd kill a baby over an adult too, but only in that hypothetical situation of course. The thing about the fetus having no say in it tho, is I'm glad I wasn't aborted. My mom miscarried between me and my brother, I could have had another sibling. I believe in the right to live, but I also believe in the right to kill. (not with guns) I know humans think they're above animals because of society and all that crap. I know humans are below animals because of what they do to everything that isn't human. But what if I'm wrong? What if nature isn't the way the earth is supposed to be? Maybe it's meant to be destroyed and the universe is supposed to be conquered and used and filled with garbage. BUT HOW CAN THAT BE? The laws of nature are wrong and the laws of man are right? Nature made man. Man destroys nature. Doesn't have to to live, but does have to to progress. What are we progressing to? An easier life? Life's pretty easy, too easy really. We get bored and smoke meth. Perhaps we're progressing towards an effortless life of philosophy and artistic expression. I can't imagine how that can come out of how we are now. I can't imagine how we could ever be that calm and peaceful, not with the ever rising population.
So I think why I can't formulate an opinion on abortion is because I don't like humans in general, but I like individual humans and I wouldn't want them to die for the sake of the people who know or would know them. And I am one. But pro-choice doesn't mean anti-human at all. But I'm against the death penalty because I don't think a government should decide what a crime is and what the proper punishment is. If we look to the past, we see atrocities that at the time weren't considered atrocious at all, so how can I trust present human judgement? I don't. It's very 1984 Big Brother to me. And the fetus didn't even commit a crime. Now I'll compare a fetus to cancer cells, sorry fetus. Cancer is bad and we have the ability to fight it, cancer cells are just trying to live. What if I had cancer? I don't think I'd want to do anything about it. I wouldn't want to know about it in the first place. But if I got really sick and was in pain, I'd want it to stop and I'd go to the doctor. And he'd tell me I have cancer and he'd explain the treatment options. I don't know what cancer pain is like, so it's hard to say what I'd do. I think I'd want the pain to stop, but I wouldn't try to keep myself from dying if I wasn't sure it would work cos there's a lot of suffering in that too. If my body says it's time to suffer and possibly die or possibly live, then that's ok. I'd feel a lot of pressure from the people in my life to seek treatment. Now take what I just said and replace cancer with fetus and dying with giving birth. Except giving birth is a whole lot better than dying.
I think I'm anti-abortion and ashamed of it. I want someone to change my mind about it. I don't judge or look down on others who abort at all. Abortion exists and they have a choice so they should exercise that right. It's such a big thing to have a baby. I think it's the biggest thing in the world. I don't think enough people see abortion as such a big thing. It's such a simple easy quick thing in comparison to pregnancy, birth, and raising a child. It makes such a difference, such a big big difference. If there was no choice, Robbie would be a father and he'd be different and I'd be different. Somehow, a stranger's abortion has affected my life. I think I'm glad she had an abortion because I wouldn't have had his music if she hadn't. I can't be anti-abortion and glad someone had an abortion. I think I'm right back where I started. Goddammit.
EDIT after a few day's thought: I am anti-abortion. And I'm not pro-choice anymore. My stance has changed because I don't think any selfish reason justifies taking a life, and I consider killing a fetus to be taking a life. Selfish is an adjective used negatively, and with reason. I've realized that the government serves a very important role, dealing with the most important issues we face in society. Therefore if I were ever faced with a ballot that would in theory reduce the amount of abortions, I would vote in favor of it. I said I was ashamed of being anti-abortion. What I'm really ashamed of is that it is a conservative stance and I've always considered myself very liberal. The sudden thought that I am sympathetic with some conservative issues scared me more than anything has in a long time.
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